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If I sit here and sift through memories
Without trying to sort out real from unreal
Past relationships make me realize one major thing
In most of them I seemed to be merely a placeholder
A placeholder in their hearts and in their lives
Kept close until something they wanted more arrived

I don't think I've been loved first in a very long time
Everything that I remember says that I never have been
I have always been second best, come in second place
Easier to give up when someone else came along
I read and write about and see movie true love
And I wish I could be loved like that

What is it about me or who I am
That makes it so easy to replace me
What major wrong did I do in a past life
To make me unworthy of being loved
Is it really too much for me to wish for
To be loved by someone and kept close forever more?


~Muse
April 4, 2010