Chinks In My Armour

[eternalscribe]

Chinks In My Armour

It's hard
Separating myself
Because you can still get to me
The tone of your voice
The words that you say
They still manage to cut deep
You can still hurt me
Make me off-balanced
Make me fall apart

Even after everything
After the way you tore out my heart
With your words
With your actions
With your inclusions of her
You can still push my buttons
Make me feel so damn guilty
Make me feel lower than anything
You can still make me cry

You have shattered so much of me
Made me doubt so much
Made me doubt myself
You don't need me any more
At least that's what you said
When you shattered my heart
You ripped me apart
Over a cup of tea
You didn't ever expect me to walk out
Then again, niether did I

But I did
Set down the cup on the table
Said goodbye
I don't know who was more surprised
You... or me

It's been some time since that afternoon
You'd think I'd be over you by now
That I could have purged everything about you
From my mind and my soul
But my heart is still raw
You still have it in your hands
I can't seem to protect myself
Can't protect me from you

And I still cry over you
Sometimes...
I still miss you

You were my other half
For such a very long time
It's hard not having you there
To hold me and to talk to me
And there are times I want
To reach out to you and for you
But I try to force myself
To avoid everything about you

Because whethe I always
Believe it or not
I deserve so much better
Than what you have done to me.

~Muse
10/11/07